Blessings and curses
There’s an old story in my family that my great-grandmother had curse laid upon her by a gypsy. Gypsy curses are hard to shake I guess and there are times when I feel like a curse indeed echoes in my time through our shared blood. Our climb to get ahead is slick and we take a fair share of tumbles, but what resonates with me much more often and with much more strength is our blessing. It’s here. It lives within our beautiful collection of friends and family. It sings to us between tears.
We did put up a small tree last night. Yes, it helped my state of mind. I decided to put it in the same corner we always have which meant it was going to be smack dab in the middle of the girl’s play area. This meant cleaning. A lot of cleaning. The play area gets completely out of hand when the toy closet is completely out of hand - I went to the source. Our “toy closet” is a walk-in closet just off the play area that is supposed to be the toy storage area for said play area. Instead it usually looks more like a post-earthquake city of lost toys. mae goes in prepared to dig like an excavator and usually comes up short. She’s always missing a piece of train track or parts to a game. In about 30 minutes the toy closet was overcome! I could then focus on the play area. Easy-peasy. Alizah had been upstairs through all of this and when she came down her jaw literally dropped. She stood in the middle of the staircase, mouth agape for a moment and then came down to investigate. Mae found alizah’s old tiger mask gifted to us from a sweet friend who moved far away. Then she found Alizah’s old elephant trunk mask and ran around the house saying, “wooo-eeee! i’m a efalant!” the magic of lost toys. It was cleansing. The clearing always is. For everyone.
Hubs helped the girls with the tree while I fixed dinner. It was so sweet watching our girls thoughtfully and oh so carefully placing each ornament that it hurt me a little. These babies of ours were thrilled to have a tiny 4 foot tree. These babies of ours… I’m feeling it today in swells. Dark cavities are being filled with the love and support that’s been poured over us the past couple days. Tea and smiles and even a sip or two of wine to warm my cheeks and a good cleaning were exactly what I needed to tie up the stitches on our mending souls. thank you to everyone. xo