so, i finally got around to writing an posting that hat pattern i’ve been sitting on for weeks… phew! and i’m cruising right along on all of my projects. i thought i’d revel in my work area a little bit tonight. oh yarn…
shhhhh i have a box under my table full of the stuff, too.
and, yes. i’m still itching to get the hell outta’ dodge. the boy and i went on a virtual tour of some of the places i’ve lived in the past 30 years via google maps. HA! we love traveling via google. remember that time we went to africa??? ya, there’s nothing there. it’s shocking.
so, some of our desinations included oregon, colorado, and ohio - all terribly different places with one thing in common. each town i decided to dig my heels into was GREEN! i mean lush, and in the hills, and the water gurgling in the streams or roaring in the rivers was BLUE and clear and delicious. i looked at the boy and looked back at the screen and said, “what the hell am i doing here?”
the answer is easy, but not entirely simple. i’m here because of the girls. and i’m here because i’m too lazy to pack up all my stuff and find somewhere better. when i hit the road and happened upon a place i liked, i stayed there. i had money in the bank, owned little more than what i could pack into my car, and if i needed to sleep on a couch in a tiny cement bunker-like house? no problem.
under no circumstances would i ever imply that i was HAPPIER then. no no no no no. there were terrible times, too. the fact is, i had lived so freely and impulsively for so long - to realize how locked down i’ve become is a little scary! where is my spirit? where is my courage? yes, i’ve become a responsible adult. BUT, i’m aching to be responsible AND courageous AND to let my spirit out!