and other various beginnings.
i cut off my hair.
i got out of the shower the other day and took the scissors to it. i do that sometimes. it’s good and fresh and in the theme of cleansing that’s been going on around here. i cleaned room from room at the beginning of the summer and now i’ve started up again, but cleansing. every drawer, cabinet, closet, and cubby - turned inside out. i sent huge bags of clothes and toys and hangars off to new and needy places via my mama and felt lighter without the weight of 3T jeans and unworn gifts bearing down on me to find them out of the way spots. our house is tiny and out of the way spots are rare and precious.
zebra left us.
suddenly and unexpectedly he was gone. he never seemed sick or strange but one afternoon elephant covered him with newspaper, stood over him, and began squawking. mae and i were shocked and confused and began figuring out a game plan. all the while elephant guarded him. she would curl up next to him and ruffle her feathers as if she was settling in for the night but as soon as we got close to the cage she would hop up on top of him and squawk at us to leave. we did finally remove him and found her a lady friend spice finch. her name is pinecone and she sounds like a tiny hawk. i like it. it’s so quiet around here in the mornings without our zebra song man but i suppose we’ll adjust to the peace just as we adjusted to the racket.
first day of school today for my girls. my baby. my big girl.
big fish 6th grader and little fish kindergartner. oh man. big changes and hard ones for this mama. i held in tears until we left the school and only choked up a few on the way to the car. everyone says the same thing - are you gonna take naps!? you’re gonna have so much free time now! - yes, i will have more time to myself and that’s a good thing. i’ll be able to clean without little toy monsters leaving a trail behind me and i’ll be able to do this without anyone tapping me every third second asking me for snacks or why dogs have hair or if they can put baby powder in the litter box. maintaining a train of thought is good. yes. it keeps my brain from sneezing.
we are starting the year round school schedule this year so this will be a departure, but i’m looking forward to more breaks over the year. i don’t know if i’ll miss the long summer vacations yet. alizah loved camp so much she wants to go FOUR weeks next summer. i’m ok with that. our quiet introvert child has found a place to shed her shell and i’ll do anything i can to facilitate it.
no more babies.
i can still knit for other people’s babies though and that takes the sting out a little.
hubs is moving on to major career changes, too. in a week he begins down his path and within two months everything will be different. i keep saying - change is good! - it’s the mantra of the month. august is the month of change. ok. we can do this. he’ll be gone a week or more at a time meaning mama is going to have to put on her gladiator suit. i like that suit and i haven’t had to pull it out in years so i’ll clean it up and polish it and get used to the heaviness for a while before wearing it full-time.
i guess it’s time for me to run errands without small people. i think i’ll turn up the radio.