i can’t believe i didn’t link sooner. here’s my guest blog over at HollaKnits. swing by there and say hello, won’t you? i’d love to know what you think of the new design!
this past week mae lost both front teeth and my big, sweet, beautiful alizah turned TWELVE. you know, twelve is big and scary and really forcing me to think about my parenting - deep and thoroughly.
i think about how, when you have your first child, everyone tells you what it will be like those first months of parenting, then swiftly skip to those terrible toddler years with the potty training and tantrums, and then zoom right on into the teens and the dramas there, but no one really talks about what comes next. what does come next? you just push your little fledgling out of the nest and hope they fly rather than smacking square on the ground? is the success of that first flight more dependent on baby bird or mama? oldest child is the hardest to raise with no hindsight to work from. sometimes i feel like i’m leading her through the forest blindfolded. maybe that’s a reflection of my own rearing being (for all intensive purposes) an only child. a true only child, actually. and maybe it’s a reflection of my own child self, too. as blindly as my mother guided me through the thicket, i too had my eyes covered.
all fears aside, i do have faith in that girl. far more than she has in herself and i believe this will be the case for another decade or so. she really is a stunning young lady and as she grows into her lanky limbs she will grown into her lanky mind and be a force. i got a letter in the mail weeks back that she had tested in the top 25% of the entire school district and that the school needed my permission to conduct furthur testing so that she could be placed in one of the honors programs offered at the 7th & 8th grade center next year. i signed the slip and the testing began. days and days and she was tired but proud and told me all the kids she sits with at lunch were going through the program, too. the “nerd” table i guess. it’s impossible to convince her that she is just exactly where she is meant to be and that she will continue to become more awe inspiring with every new year. right now she’s too busy worrying about the girls who don’t talk to her and feeling weird in her skin.
now for some sweetness.
this is how he wakes me.